I Hate Myself

Well, Zoo Freaks, the Crew’s got the turntable spinning on a real rock and roll gem right here, and it’s “I Hate Myself” from The Darkness off their eighth studio album Dreams on Toast. This one’s a self-deprecating glam punk stomper that hits like a motorcycle engine revving through a sunny stretch of highway, full of swagger and that classic falsetto soar from Justin Hawkins. The lyrics dig into the messy end of a relationship where the singer points the finger right back at himself, singing lines like there goes the best thing that ever happened and the girl he was incredibly cruel to because he thought she was in the way. It’s raw, it’s honest, and it’s got that party energy that makes you want to raise a glass even while nodding along to the remorse.

Justin himself called it a joyous, raucous celebration of self-loathing, saying that without regrets we stand to learn less from our experiences, and to deny them is to deny ourselves a chance to grow. So the band turns that into an uplifting ode to remorse, hoping history doesn’t repeat the same mistakes. The track was written with a crew of collaborators including Darby Todd, Derek Nash, Jem Godfrey, Lee Pomeroy, and Jakob Herrmann, and it sits as the second song on the record, clocking in around three minutes of pure adrenaline. Produced by guitarist Dan Hawkins at Hawkland Studios, it fits right into an album that mixes hard rock bite with unexpected twists, and the whole thing charted high when it dropped in March 2025, landing at number two on the UK albums chart and number one on the independent albums tally, their best showing since the early days.

The video for the song is a whole other trip, directed by Simon Emmett and shot in one continuous take with no edits. Justin steps into a world-weary, chain-smoking diva role with immaculate makeup and long flowing hair, playing with gender roles while he chronicles the relationship breakdown and blames himself the whole way. He said he loves working with Emmett because everything they do turns out great, and the concept ties straight into the self-loathing the lyrics explore. In his words, the visual took the song to the next level, and it was already his favorite Darkness track ever. He finished by saying he loves everybody, he just hates himself. That one-take approach keeps the energy raw and unfiltered, matching the song’s punk glam stomp that feels like walking into a wild end-of-year bash where all the classic rock influences crash together at once.

Dreams on Toast as a whole is a ten-song ride that shows the band leaning into their eccentric side while still delivering the big riffs and hooks. Tracks range from the searing hard rock of the opener to a country detour and some heartfelt moments, all produced by Dan and released through Cooking Vinyl. Fans got early tastes at intimate Rough Trade in-store shows, and the album’s success proved the quartet still packs a punch after all these years. The band is Justin on vocals and guitar, his brother Dan on guitar, Frankie Poullain on bass, and Rufus Tiger Taylor on drums, and they’ve kept the spirit alive through tours that celebrate both the old favorites and this new material.

Now, to understand how a band like this even gets rolling, you have to go back to the brothers Hawkins growing up in the seaside town of Lowestoft in Suffolk. Justin and Dan played together as teenagers, covering everything from Marillion to Bruce Springsteen in a prog-leaning outfit. Justin locked himself away young to learn guitar, inspired by the tone and vibrato of Queen’s Brian May, though he always said his kid brother Dan was even better. They formed a covers band early on with Dan handling lead vocals, then Justin headed off to university while Dan moved to London looking for the right crew.

In the capital, Dan linked up with Frankie Poullain, a Scottish bassist from a family of adventurers, and they shared a flat where musicians would jam. Their school friend Ed Graham joined on drums for weekend sessions, and the brothers plus Frankie tried a progressive rock band called Empire that didn’t quite stick. The real spark came on Millennium Eve when the brothers went back to their aunt’s pub in Norfolk. Justin entered a karaoke competition and tore into Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody, acting out every line and throwing in star jumps. Dan saw the flamboyant star quality right there and realized his big brother was the frontman they needed.

They made the calls, pulled Frankie back from Venezuela, got Ed on board, and The Darkness was born around 2000. Their first gig that August was a short set opening a night, and Justin said it changed his life, that first taste of being the center of attention. They built a following through word-of-mouth shows around North London pubs and clubs, always bringing arena energy even to small rooms. By 2003 their debut Permission to Land exploded, topping the UK charts, going multi-platinum, and giving the world that unforgettable “I Believe in a Thing Called Love.” The catsuits, the falsetto, the unapologetic glam rock revival cut through a scene full of more serious acts, and they rode it hard until the band stepped away for a stretch after Justin dealt with some personal challenges.

They reunited in 2011 and have kept releasing records ever since, with Rufus Tiger Taylor stepping in on drums later on as the son of Queen’s Roger Taylor. Through it all the core remains those brothers and the belief in putting on a show that celebrates rock and roll without holding back. Check out their official website at thedarknesslive.com for the full discography and news, and follow along on their Facebook, Instagram, and X accounts where they share the latest from the road and the studio.

So there you have it, Zoo Freaks, a song that turns self-reflection into a raucous good time and a band that started with a karaoke epiphany and never looked back. The Crew will keep spinning the deep cuts and the classics right here on THE ZOO, where the freeform rock and roll lives on for all of us out on the highway of life. Crank it up, feel the riffs, and remember the stories behind the vinyl.